suicide?!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007
7:50 PM

Give myself a pat on my back. I was suicidal,yes,but i never thought of killing myself.Once
i had bizarre thoughts on planning my death.pain free. I was thinking of swallowing 20 over
sleeping pills and hopefully die peacefully the next day.
Guess what?this pain in me was relieved.I gathered up enough courage to tell my parents i
felt this way.And the only thing that stopped me was crying in front of them if i said
it.After all,parents nowadays dont even encourage their kids to cry.SICK!! if u dont express
ur emotions,it will come out sideways, as in showing up as easily agitated,or moody and
quite for the whole day.

On a heartier note,no matter how bad ur suicidal thoughts are,its
just the habit of you going through the same routine ,everyday, thinking this way.
Dont think in a way that u are lonely,or useless.this is like forcing yourself into one
corner of the wall,and not being able to walk out of the room when in the first place,THERE
IS SO MUCH SPACE FOR U TO MOVE ABOUT RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU!!!!!!
Most causes of suicide in an urban society is the pressure of facing difficulties,the lack
of self esteem,and most importantly,lack of family support.
lastly its FAILURE>that "f" word!!yes.

I love talking about overcoming failures.I had no confidence in myself too!! for some
reasons i could not know why.But if u dont give urself a chance to dicover ur potentials and
bring em up,u will never know when u can be successful.how do u define success?
According to my guitar teachermhe does not care if u completed ur academic journey.Its about
achieving ur goals and what u really want to be in life!!! He told be if he wanted to be an
engineer,he does not care if someone took 5 years to become one and him,8 years.as long as
he becomes one.that's it. final. Society wants everything to be fast,but u dont have t be
fast if u know u cant! everyones different.Dont even care what others think of you.I am good
at going in the reverse direction of most common mentalities.will tell u that in more detail
in future posts.that's the art of uniqueness.till then!!

DONT KILL YOURSELF OVER TRIVIAL CAUSES!!

...still seeking for death?!