suicide?!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007
10:53 PM

i Sound philosophical huh?always talking about life..thats because in today's world society is becoming so fast-paced we hardly got time to "stop and smell the roses."Too much stress and pride builds up, accumulates till we keep everything to ourselves,and we end up carrying e mental burden of a whole tumult of negative emotions that gives us white hot searing pains to our life.OUR MENTAL life.Take care if that.

Check out www.lifebeforedeath.org.sg .muhammad abdooh is really an inspiration to the dying and the suicidal.COme on ,this guy is down with multiple cancer and he still smokes on one of his video blogs,confessing that he was a chain smoker.The doctors told him to stop,but he still does it.And he ven jokes about this on the video.But he knows he has to quit,but before that,he will "switch to another brand of cigarettes and cut down on the daily intakes".Rather humorous.
You may say he lives a life worse than death,painfully slow.But he still lives life like it was way before he contracted cancer!!!

YOu dun have cancer,or maybe you would like to term yourself having an emotional cancer,because at times you just cant control your wild and haunting emotions that serves to be the wreck of your life.But you just have to confess to your loved ones.HAving suicidal thoughts may be embarrasing..but once confessed,family members will understand.IF they dont,at least you said it out,and felt better.LIke i was talking to one of my old friends yesterday,its like after a heavy alcoholic intake,one will puke.If you kept your puke inside you,you will feel worse!!!So its like this :you puke in public due to over consumption of alcohol.seems embarrassing.but at least you puked.And it felt better afterwards.On the day i confessed to my parents that i was suicidal,i cried like a small kid who lost his parents in the middle of a gigantic shopping mall.

...still seeking for death?!

7:50 PM

Give myself a pat on my back. I was suicidal,yes,but i never thought of killing myself.Once
i had bizarre thoughts on planning my death.pain free. I was thinking of swallowing 20 over
sleeping pills and hopefully die peacefully the next day.
Guess what?this pain in me was relieved.I gathered up enough courage to tell my parents i
felt this way.And the only thing that stopped me was crying in front of them if i said
it.After all,parents nowadays dont even encourage their kids to cry.SICK!! if u dont express
ur emotions,it will come out sideways, as in showing up as easily agitated,or moody and
quite for the whole day.

On a heartier note,no matter how bad ur suicidal thoughts are,its
just the habit of you going through the same routine ,everyday, thinking this way.
Dont think in a way that u are lonely,or useless.this is like forcing yourself into one
corner of the wall,and not being able to walk out of the room when in the first place,THERE
IS SO MUCH SPACE FOR U TO MOVE ABOUT RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU!!!!!!
Most causes of suicide in an urban society is the pressure of facing difficulties,the lack
of self esteem,and most importantly,lack of family support.
lastly its FAILURE>that "f" word!!yes.

I love talking about overcoming failures.I had no confidence in myself too!! for some
reasons i could not know why.But if u dont give urself a chance to dicover ur potentials and
bring em up,u will never know when u can be successful.how do u define success?
According to my guitar teachermhe does not care if u completed ur academic journey.Its about
achieving ur goals and what u really want to be in life!!! He told be if he wanted to be an
engineer,he does not care if someone took 5 years to become one and him,8 years.as long as
he becomes one.that's it. final. Society wants everything to be fast,but u dont have t be
fast if u know u cant! everyones different.Dont even care what others think of you.I am good
at going in the reverse direction of most common mentalities.will tell u that in more detail
in future posts.that's the art of uniqueness.till then!!

DONT KILL YOURSELF OVER TRIVIAL CAUSES!!

...still seeking for death?!