suicide?!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007
12:06 AM

First time i am posting a post.A very mundane sort of post.the type where u do it like a journal.a diary.

Most of my frens would be shocked to see me stomp out of the class today.violently.Cos i was irritated. At the fact that i cannot understand anything so far in this course.some times feel that i am wasting my time here.YEs to my family : you always tell me if i am unsure of anything,ask ,right? i did that.repeatedly.But the more i ask the more i got lost.JUst couldnt understand IT stuff.Not that now i dislike the course like i use to.Its getting more practical,interesting and realistic now.But i just seem to be stuck at this stage.

My frens? they tried explaining patiently to me like 5 ,6 times of me repetitively clearing my doubts.but each time i cant get it,they just type watever
code into my computer assignment.And that really mde me feel worse.I AM AN IDIOT here(IT related only!! :) ).there is no denying that.

To those parents who judge your kids by academic status.U can jolly well watch your kids kill themselves.And that really appeases me.Because their sense of self esteem stems from school ONLY.your effort in bringing them up has gone to waste.Totally ignored your kid's feelings.Lets be frank here.so what if you are good at studying?high IQ is not successful enough.High EQ is.I notice that most highly educated people fail at relationships.the dumb,idiotic and spastic side of intelligence.

I dont judge myself by the world's standards.I judge myself based on my personality and potentials that i have yet to find.and bringing these potentials up.You can jolly well look down on me if u see alphabets like "F" or 49/100 scores
on the paper.it does not matter.If i were to totally give up when i hit the hard stuff,like my family or whoever claims so..then i might as well give up on my life and just do what my blog address said :SUICIDE.

but no.there are so many forms of knowledge out there.So many things to learn.Surely can excel at at least 1 of them.Its like choosing life partners.Its the same SHIT dont you guys ,(or morons) get it?Like the saying goes for relationships "you can catch a better fish next time round".

U can hang out with a wild child ,biker dude or any ruffian boyfren or girlfren despite you yourself being a well brought up child.But your relationship cannot last long.Cos you feel pressured to do the very things you detest ,of which your lover asks you to.Its a personality mismatch.picture this advice my parents often gave me "if u dont like something,try to nurture some interest in it,you may like it,you may never know" .that was when i told them i didnt like my course.Now try to put it into the area of relationship,since its more or less the same thing.IT WILL NOT WORK.if both partners personality are of a different spectrum,the relationship will blow off.No hope.

How about a mismatch of potential?i know i cant do music courses since my grades dont allow me to do so.And immediately i have a "unqualified" label put on me.But now thats ok with me.i just learn what i can in this IT course.Some people,regardless of educational or financial status,manage to be successful in their work because they have a strong passion for it,and they fight to the end.If u guys have been watching a korean show currently airing, entitled "be strong geum soon! " then you know.Its about a girl whom husband died three days later after marriage (the wedding needs to be carried in order to cover up for the shame of them having a child before marriage).This girl does not have academic qualification but she managed to work at her dream salon.Cos she had the passion for her dream about becoming a hairstylist NO MATTER WHAT.people in the salon felt that she was a country bumpkin but she didnt even care.She knows that she knows she will become a hairstylist.pure hard work combined with thick skin (in order to enter the shop and fighting for her dream job despite having a less than attractive resume.)

To any typical singaporean,you can continue to judge your kids on academic qualifications.But when ur kids feel down,not wanting you to know of their troubles,just so that they will not let ur hopes fall,and eventually killing themselves..guess what? blame yourselves.COs some parents dont even consider their kid's potentials or even try fulfilling it.They base their "love" on their kids academic results.So that they can either show off to other parents on how smart their kids are.And totally oblivious to their kid's undue stress.If your kids cant take it and kills themselves,gimme a call.I'll play you a happy song.amidst your constant flows of tears and the wailing therafter.

now check out tis video highlighting the stupidity of modern educated people.Using their intelligence for the wrong stuff. Its "what i've done " by linkin park.

...still seeking for death?!