I look fine I seem fine I feel pretty good I have a positive attitude...
But inside, alone, I carry dark & heavy thoughts -- fleeting thoughts of suicide. The words cannot convey, the feelings, the pain Somehow I ignore them -- for a while, perhaps -- a long while, all day, or many days -- figure it will go away -- ignore It's automatically not even recognized mentally. I go back forcing myself forcing day to day, week to week, contact with people and life My sorrow is hidden, My anguish contained. I push forward; I feel like dying. I tell no one. No one knows how I feel..
(erm..i didnt write this poem...its found at a webbie http://suicidal.com/solemnpoetry/ )
but seriously i am fed up with my life as it is now. A monotonous life of studying. NOt that gaining knowledge is boring, but hey i have not a single job experience!! althoug i got my first job , i soon realise it was not realistic after signing up for it.Then i worry about my performance if i were to do other jobs.hence at that period of time i did not find anymore jobs. And succumbed to the typical Singaporean-over-emphasized-cant-lose-out typical thing : STUDY STUDY STUDY!! no cert=nothing. nothing = no place in society = remove urself from this earth? that certainly torments me. Most people dont realise u can do what u want even if u had low qualifications. So what? the cert is just a ticket for others to give u the get go to jumpstart a career.Why wait for OTHERS to give u the go? WHY CANT U GIVE URSELF THE GO INSTEAD?WE DONT HAVE TO LOOK AT OTHERS FACES to function.WE FUNCTION OF OUR OWN ACCORD,SO LONG AS IT HURTS NO ONE. be a one man army if others dont even believe in you just cos u got no standard qualifications to gain a right in order to fit in to society. AND THATS IT. enjoy the bloody video. (LOOKS FAKE BUT REAL VISUAL)
